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Hi gang! I just got home from a 2 day visit home. So I guess it is time to yap a bit about how the weekend went.

I suppose I will start with Friday - I went out with a friend which I hadn't seen since February! It was super nice to catch up! We ended up going to a Minimart for hotdogs and I found some very cool gummies - the 4d amos goldfish ones and their peelable mango ones. Ended up getting them for the 6 hour train ride back home.

I had a logic lection, which was fun (like always tbh, I really like the subject). Then afterwards I rushedh home and packed my luggage. Then my boyfriend and I went to the train station - getting to the correct platform was scaryyy. We had to go through this creepy unlit underpass.

The train ride was a 6 hour nightmare - our cart was full and our seats were in front of each other so I couldn't nap or even get comfortable in my seat. I had to be all scrunched up so I wouldn't somehow get close to the man sitting on my left and also so my boyfriend could stretch out his legs.... which... annoying as hell, but also I was more comfortable scrunched up.

At least I read halfway through my book (He who drowned the world by Shelley Parker-Chan).

Saturday was spent catching up on sleep (which is a way to say I slept all day) and then on Sunday we went to visit my grandma since there was some work to be done around the yard. We got CHICKENSSS! We haven't had any animals since my grandpa got sick before he passed away. I could feel the joy and whimsy I had when I was younger coming back to me. We had to fix the roof of the building where the entrance to the outside part of the coop is and also make a proper door for it.

I would show pics of them loafing inside but the inside part of the coop looks kind of miserable (it is being worked on, I promise - we had animals for ages before my grandpa got sick and taking care of them became too much work, we know what we are doing, but we also need time to get back on our feet).

Today me and my boyfriend drove back to Sofia. The road was a nightmare - so many kilometers long road closures due to roadwork. I also lowk gave myself food poisoning - we stopped at a gas station and I got a yummy yummy sandwich, which turned out to not be so yummy yummy to my guts so now I feel like shit.

On a more positive note I read The stranger by Albert Camus - interesting book to say the least. Kind of an entry level to absurdism, but that isn't necessarily bad. Makes you think about how we give meaning to things that are literally just chance, and also how we make connections between completely unrelated happenings just to give ourselves some comfort. Also makes you think about society (SPOILER - considering how the main character was sentenced to death for the crime of murdering someone mostly because of his behaviour that just didn't fit society's standards. Like... what if he HAD cried at his mother's funeral or what if he had not went on a date with a girl two days after? What if he hadn't smoked at the vigil??? Does it matter - spoiler, no, nothing matters.)

The main character is kind of a mood at times, not going to lie, but he is also kind of an arse at times. Also while reading it, it did feel a little bit bland and boring, but when you get though it and then think it through it is worth it, definetly. I would like to reread this one day, maybe in physical, and actively annotate it.

I would recommend the book, but also keep in mind that it is written in the mid 20th century by a frenchman, and also it does cover the topic of death, nihilism and absurdism. Oh and also it is slightly racist, with the fact the word "Arabs" is used to describe people in a not so positive way.

Looking forward to digging a bit deeper into absurdism and Camus, I will definetly try reading other books of his. I really enjoy the fact that his concepts are shown through novels and not just convoluted essays which say the same thing over and over for hundreds of pages, when it could just be condensed into like, ten.

Oh also - I originally ended up reading this book while trying to dig a bit deeper into existentialism (because I like existentialism), so if any of you guys have recommendations for that feel free to send them my way.

I might be slightly dumb - I realised I never posted my last blog post. Wrote it and then just. Didn't post??? That is so... mind boggling.

Please go read it um... it will be right below this one hahah.... and it has some context for things mentioned in this one.

An update on the public transport topic - the situation did not change until this monday. I had my lectured on Friday online, so at least I didn't have to worry about that.

On Saturday my boyfriend and I went on a walk and discovered a new route I can take if public transport decides to act up again - instead of walking 30 minutes in one direction I can take an underpass, which is literally just a straight line from me to where I need to go. I originally did not know there was a walking path there, I thought it was only for cars. But there is a little sidewalk and it's barriered off so, thats nice. We got train tickets for the 9pm train on Friday - yes, we are going home again. My boyfriend's dad is back home (he works abroad) so he wants to see him and I was invited to a prom celebration, but it turns out I am not even needed and my mom said I can just not go? I mean, fine by me, but like, dang. I thought I would get to dress up all fancy. Anyways.

Boyf and I (whom I shall call Jimmy from now on, because calling him just my boyfriend is like.. idk, a bit repetitive at this point? and also jimmy isnt his real name, just a nickname he has had for basically as long as i have known him, and it is completely unrelated to his actual name) also wanted to go meet up with Grey's sister so we can give her the present we got him (since his bday is on friday but we wont be able to give it to him)... in the end that didn't happen. Buuut we did go to this pancake place I have been wanting to go to for ages.

They were very yummy and the place was suuper cozy. Then we just walked around the centre a bit - we ended up in Plesio where I got a sd card reader usb thing (for my 3ds and for my cameras, since my laptop doesnt have an sd slot) and alsoooo, drum roll pleaaseee.... A controller charging deck! So we can charge our controllers and not need to spend money for batteries (and also to not produce battery waste). It was a biit pricey (like 40 bucks?) , but definetly worth it.

On Monday my lectures were online - oh joy. And then the public transport situation got resolved. I won't go into detail, it's all... very political, if you can believe.

So yesterday my lectures were in uni, properly.

Something great from this weekend - I finished my cross-stitch project :D

It isn't officially 100% finished, since the idea is to get it framed, but it will be a while till I do that. The active handiwork is done, though, so I count that as something!

I am already planning the next project and it's going to be a smol one. The idea is to turn it into a keychain, but I need to figure out how (like, get a frame for it or something). I got the pattern off of pinterest, i think it's a friendship bracelet pattern originally (since its from bracelet book), but uhhh... iykyk.

I deffo have things to complain about (like my ancient philosophy prof for the seminars allegedly giving us a conspect to write for a mystery text and then never giving the text and also mentioning it when there were 3 people in the room. and then when we reminded her she just went "oh ooopsie, ill send the text. oh btw u have time till the end of the month, sowwy its wittle" LIKE BITCH?!?! WHAT!?!?! she still hasnt sent the text.) buuut my head hurts a shit ton so... maybe some other time.

To end this on a positive note though - I finally got some progress on the stolen poem! After 2 months of actual radio silence from both the guy and his boyfriend, i messaged the community center he is affiliated with AND GOT A RESPONSE! (but only after messaging them once again and commenting on their post.) I showed them the evidence of what has happened (like him speaking absolute bullshit about me, saying how i want revenge for him not being my friend, etc. Claiming that the poems are not connected AND THEN LITERALLY SAYING THEY ARE AND THAT THE LINES ARE ON PURPOSE. and then saying he had published the poem online before and i was fine with that, when this is false. he hasnt published it online, and if he has i have not been made aware of it.) Anyways, all i can do now is sit and wait for them to do something. Hoping they don't just ghost and block me but i wouldnt be surprised if that coward who is unable to communicate like a damn normal person (he has always had this problem, i wont mention all the times he has came to me crying about problems with his partner completely caused by his inability to communicate.) turns them against me.

OH! One final thing - we got an official announcement for the new Tamagotchi device - the Tamagotchi Paradise, and I literally got so excited I gave myself a fucking migraine. I will 100% be getting it - the gimmick is right donw my alley - the dial looks fun, the regions sound so cool, and all the new character designs are ADORABLEEE. And do not get me on the gene mixing, I am soooo so so excited for that, esp since I have been wanting a gene mixing tama for a while (but would probably never have gotten one since the meets/mix/on ones cost an arm and a leg cause of resellers,,, until noooow when this one is new and affordable-ish /i will still have to save up money/).

Man, these past few days were... rough. On Wednesday I overslept for my 11am lecture. I woke up at 10am and then promptly realised I would have to walk to uni, since the workers strike that was announced from 4am to 8am was still going on. Fucking great for me, considering that for me to get ANYWHERE I have to find a way to go around the train tracks. Sooo... it was an hour long walk. Felt like I was going to faint by the end of it. Ended up walking in on the middle of the lecture but like, there were 4 other people, so not like I was disturbing anyone. Then I had to make the choice whether or not I want to skip my Introduction to Philosophy lecture (which is from 1 to 3pm) to make it home in time for my Psychology lecture (which is from 3:30 to 6pm, and this time it was online due to the lack of public transport). In the end I did just that. Worked all night on my course work for anthropology. On one hand I feel like I am being productive with it, but on the other hand I barely have two pages written... I need to write at least 5, but meanwhile I am praying to even finish the third page. Like... I have said what I have to say. Simple as that. I have always had this problem - I don't tend to stretch out my words, I don't like doing that. I say what I have to say and that is that. We will see, maybe a miracle will strike and I will spawn in 2 pages from thin air (probably not, I don't have much else to say besides what I already have).

Today I didn't have my 9am psychology seminar, which was great... but I did then oversleep for my Introduction to philosophy seminar.... not that it mattered much. Even though I was planning on at least making it to my logic seminar I realised that I don't have any way of reaching my faculty - the two available paths are extremely sketchy. I am not crossing rusty old, about to fall apart, bridges over the train tracks thank you very much. My other option was avoiding the train tracks but in the complete opposite direction, which would add another half an hour to my journey. In the end I decided it isn't worth it and that I would just join in one of the groups tommorow, which are held online. Matter of fact my lecture of the day will also be held online! Which is good, because if it wasn't I would have had to go to uni like 3 hours earlier so I could do the seminar online from the library (since if I did it from home I wouldn't be able to make it in time for the lecture).

Honestly why did I even refill my transport card this month if apparently there won't be any transport for a while! That money could have went somewhere else!

And before anyone asks why I don't just take a taxi to my faculty or like wherever - Do I look like I am made out of money? It is like 20 bucks to both the faculty and my uni for a one way trip. I do not have the money to be paying 40 bucks everyday! I guess my proffesors with whom I have classes in the faculty will have to excuse me.

Which does also remind me I have a 9am on tuesdays... that will be fun (not). Like... I would have to wake up at god knows how early just so I'm not late. The professor for that class literally does not let people who are late come in! So if I am late it would be like I got up for nothing!

Sorry for ranting, it's just extremely frustrating. Should have taken my bike with me the last time I went home.

On a more positive note - I am almost finished with my cross-stitch project! I only have a cauliflower and the border left to stitch. So I expect to have it finished over the weekend! Isn't that nice! My first finished cross stitch project (besides the little Pusheens, which were a one day project tbh).

Hi guys! Just wanted to do a quick check in here, tell you a bit about how the past week went and stuff.

Sooo, I am back in Sofia. Uni has been going on as usual, just with the evergrowing anxiety of the exam season approaching (less than a month to it at this point). I also received a course work assignment, which.... aaaaaaa..... I have like a week to write it, the deadline is the 25th of may. The theme is "The philosopher and the Enlightenment" (like, the age of enlightenment). The theme is fine, I have material to work off of, since we chewed Kant for about a month and a half, and the ideas it encompasses are fairly interesting, but maaan I hate this course so much, writing for it is a pain.

Today I started compiling info and ideas and so far have two pages of that, which is fine, but I will probably try to gain some more, since the actual work is supposed to be 5 to 6 pages long prefferably.

Here is peak workspace aesthetics:

A candle which I am trying to desperately save from tunneling (because someone blew it out befoe the wax had pooled properly even though I told them not to...), coke + whiskey, my emotional support water bottle, the lego orchid my boyfriend got me for valentine's, and the rose I gave him for our anniversary. (it's over at my place since he doesn't have where to put it).

Which leadds me to my next point - me and my boyfriend's anninversary was last week - can't believe it's been 2 years honestly. So much has changed, so much happened. But that is mainly probably because I have changed a lot this last year with graduation, finals, uni entrance exams, applications, not being accepted in my dream course, etc. (Because have I mentioned I never really even wanted to study Philosophy?)... Aaaaanyways. I got him a Vinland saga volume, a cute lil red panda plush and one of those Lindt chocolate bunnies (I have never had one of those actually). Also wrote him a heartfelt letter, because for me it's just tradition haha. He got me a fricking X-box controller! I have been wanting one for ages duuude, and they are so expensivee! (well, not THAT expensive in the grand scheme, but for a broke uni student they are). He also got me a cute little tote bag with a cat on it (which was more meant as a gift bag, but shhh, I am counting it as part of the present because he knows how much I love totes).

On Friday went to the theatre and watched Golemanov - a bulgarian production, written like a century ago with the purpose of satirically calling out the political situation in the country, kind of Bai Ganyo, Aleko Konstantinov style (not that any of you know what I mean by that, unfortunately). Still very topical unfortunately. This production had added in some jokes related to modern political happenings, which was very funny, but it also did include one of the characters using a modern smartphone to "live stream". Which... wellll... I see what they were going for, what they were trying to do (criticise the present day politics trying to show off on social media about how much they are doing for the country, when in reality that is not true), but considering that it is meant to be set in the era where Bulgaria was a kingdom and had a tsar, it didn't land that well. Still a pleasant experience though, it was very cool to be in the national theatre.

After that we took a walk around the centre, which was lowkey a nightmare, because there was this festival of lights or something going on (Lunar). I do not get the hype... it's just some boring lights on buildings - one of the "exhibitions" was literally AI slop. Yuck. And there were so many people, it was difficult walking to our tram stop at the end of the night.

The next day a friend of ours celebrated his birthday over at my place - it was pretty fun. I now have half of a cake and a Jim Beam bottle over at my place, because said friend did not want to carry them back to the dormitory. Which is fine, me and my boyfriend will eat the cake and I will definetly be drinking the whiskey (not to sound like an alcoholic, but I do enjoy having something alcoholic while writing for university - liquid courage I suppose. Also alcohol is associated with philosophy... blame Plato's Symposium, not me. Though they did not actually get drunk in that, they decided to drink in moderation /whatever that means to the greeks/ and talk about Eros, instead of getting plastered).

It definetly left me mentally drained though, we had people over from 4 pm to 2 am the next day, and my social battery was cryyying. Sunday was spend lazing around and playing video games haha.

So, like... that's been that basically.

Tommorow getting to uni will be a pain in the ass - there will be no public transport (sans metro, but that is of no use to me, since there is no metro anywhere near me), because the drivers are protesting/on strike... which... is fine... I get it, fair pay and whatever... but also is that really everyone else's fault? It's an hour and something walk to my university from where I live and a whole lot of that is not walkable since I have to go through a underpass below the traintracks, which does not have a proper walkway and is mostly meant for cars. And some of my most important (though tedious) lectures are tommorow! Like, as much as I dislike my introduction to philosophy course I would also like to pass my exam, thank you very much (it's going to be verballl and I hate hate hate verbal exams) and also my psychology course which is like... my favourite.

Hopefully I can properly go to my lectures (or they get cancelled or something, idk. So far the psychology professor has told us the lecture will be online so that is nice, except the part where I will have to get home in less than half an hour which will be difficult if transport isn't back by then.)

I will probably update tommorow. I will now leave you with the fact that today I ate a moldy biscuit! It was like... a kurabiya style biscuit with jam inside. My mom had gotten a pack of them like a month back.... and foolish me thought - ah yes. they are sealed. UnOpened. They must be fine to eat, I kind of want to try one... I see a dark patch on the top of the one I get but think "Oh it must just be the jam inside". NO. WRONG. I BITE INTO IT. I SWALLOW A BIT. AND THEN THE MOST DISGUSTING TASTE FILLS MY MOUTH. I look at the biscuit - the inside is FLUFFY. Never in my (almost) 20 years of life has this happened oohhhh my god. I actually hurled from disgust, it's not even funny. Had to scrub my mouth for 15 minutes as well in case there was any mold particles left in it. Do not make my mistakes.

Hello, hello, hello! I said I was going to post an entry yesterday, but I decided to keep it for today, since I didn't actually do a lot yesterday haha.

My mom and I went out with our bikes yesterday afternoon which was pretty fun - I haven't been on a bike in absolute ages and it was fun just speeding down the alleys in tha park (though not as fast as I would have liked, since, yk, I was with my mom who had to keep up with me).

Then today my boyfriend and I decided to go out, again with bikes, which was really fun - we went around basically the entire town and I fiiinally got to actually let myself speed up as much as I wanted to (and my boyfriend still had to outdo me and then tease me about it - like ohhh no fucking way? mr daddy long legs looking ass /lovingly/ can bike faster than me??? me who is like a foot and something shorter? no way. crazy.) I actually had not biked around town, my parents only ever let me do it in the park, so that was even more fun.

We went to the retail park and we finally ended up getting an ice mold, since I actually don't have one in my flat. The little ice cube trays are shaped like kitty cats - meow. There was also one where they were star shaped, but like.... It was the same price as the kitty one but had less mold spaces so I decided that more ice for the same price is better. And hey, the ice cubes will still be cute shapes so, why the hell not.

Afterwards I ended up going to the park with my mom again except our outing was cut short by the fact it started raining - good thing we live next to the park lol.

I discovered I have absolutely zero spacial awareness of where the bike's pedals are positioned because I kept hitting my legs on them while pushing the bike, so now my legs look like they got attacked by a cat hahaha.

But yeah, still not that much happened, not enough for me to make a blog post about, but I diid say I would make one so... Can't go back on my word, that would be rude.

I have been thinking however if I should make a seperate blog page about deeper topics that might have sprouted up in my mind and I might have wanted to explore more. I would probably make it in the same way as my microblog - have it up on the little tab above the regular blog posts. Mostly because I feel like I am clogging up the side bar and the things at the bottom are getting hidden - that might also just be my laptop screen though (hopefully... if not - fullscreen the tab when you are looking at my site please, I really do not know what else to do about it, sorry ). Maybe the topics would be too depressing though, idk... But I mean, they would be in their own seperate tab that you would have to click on so... I don't know, please tell me your opinions and if you would be interested in such a thing. I think the topics would range from philosophical to just like me discussing certain issues I have faced and trying to rationalize them or spin them into a wider topic that encompasses society as a whole.

But uhhh yeah, that's all for now, I guess. Boyfriend and I are going back to uni tommorow, I gotta wake up early. Kind of glad to be going back this time, mostly because I fear I might jump my father and fight him (won't disclose the reasons as to why, just please trust me that if I fought him it would be deserved.)

I am finally home! Yaay :DD

I am going to be honest I started this blog post yesterday, but I did so riiight before going out with my boyfriend (while I was waiting for him to text me that he is near my building in fact, since he had some business at our old highschool which is like 5 minutes away from me) so I did not finish it, but, that doesn't matter (I just thought it was funny).

It's nice to be home and have some peace from uni, even though I was here like a week ago. (And also I am slightly stressing over the course work I have to finish until the 25th and also exam season being right around the corner, but shhhhhh its fineee).

I have actually done quite a bit for the 3 days we have been home!

On Wednesday evening (so the day we got home) I went out with my mom, aunt and cousin out for dinner - which was honestly just an inconvenience - I was tired and my cousin was being a 13 year old (aka the whole oh im so deep, nobody talk to me) so like... I just wanted to go home the entire time. More complaining about my cousin - I get that she is 13 and all BUT MAN COME OOON, it is just plain rude to be with your headphones on and jacket hood up the ENTIRE TIME - have some manners. I get being edgy, I was 13 once (though I never had an emo phase - since it was never a phase, I have been listening to music like that since I was 10) BUT I STILL HAD MANNERS!

Then yesterday me and my boyfriend went out in the afternoon to look for a present for one of our friends who has a birthday next weeek. We got him a little like aftershave and perfume set since we didn't really know what to give him and also they came in a nice pouch/bag for carrying - and both my boyfriend and I believe it is very convenient to have something like that to throw your necessities in. I also splurged a bit on myself - I got a cute little wax melt kit (with raspberry scented wax) that I had been eyeing for MOONTHS from pepco but could never really justify buying, and also a tank top and short-skirt/skort I had been eyeing since the last time I had went to this one store we have at the retail park (my town does not have a mall, or well, hasn't for ages - we instead had a "retail park" open like 5 years ago which is just like this big parking lot surrounded by a bunch of stores - Sinsay, House, New Yorker, Waikiki. Also my favourite - Tedi (their crafty isles are wonderful and also they have fun plushies - the fox plushy my boyfriend got me for our first Valentines day together is from there - I had been eyeing it for literal months and he got it for me :DD he also got me a pink whale plushy from there last summer simply because I said it was cute haha). (The no mall thing has changed recently though - the old mall which closed down due to ownership issues is being reopened gradually which is really amazing imo).

Then after that we went and had dinner with his family, which was nice! We had stir-fry and creme caramel made with easter bread (so they didn't have to throw it away if it got stale - they just made it to make another desert. It was actually really really yummy! The taste of the easter bread and the creme caramel-iness combined reeealy really well!).

And today we had a BBQ at my grandma's house which was just so so so nice - we haven't had a get together like this since my grandpa died in 2018... It was just really nice. It was smaller than before - only me, my boyfriend, my parents, my aunt, uncle, cousin, my grandma, a friend of my grandma's and her son. Oh also my dog, because I convinced my parents to take him as well. Despite that I had a good time. The house and the yard, just the whole property, have felt so... void? Empty? Since grandpa passed. There has just been this weird energy, like all of us have been perhaps unconsciously avoiding visiting there much... which sucks, some of my best childhood memories are from there, I used to spend weeeks, even months, there before grandpa got sick.

My cousin was once again being 13(tm), my mom pissed me off by nagging me for not helping her set the salads on the table (while I was clearly busy trying to figure out where the cutlery set aside for this was and then trying to set the table), but still - it was nice. Misho didn't try eating my boyfriend! Wooow! He even licked his legs from under the table and let him feed him haha. (For context - my dog is very badly socialised and does not like unknown/new people. This is due to the fact we got him at 4 months old from a family which had abused him. The period in which we could have trained him was instead spent trying to make him trust us and learn that we won't hurt him... so unfortunately we didn't train him to be much tolerant of new people - he does still warm up to people, just, slower and it benefits if its on "his" turf, even if the turf is technically at my grandma's - he does get to spend time there when we go on holiday, since we also couldn't teach him to not freak out when traveling... and no, we refuse to give him like... anesthesia or pills that would "chill" him out, because we have had very bad experiences of him coming out of anesthesia... oof, sorry for the dog rant).

Average balkan family BBQ tbh LMAOO - you got it all, the banitsa, the absolutely homemade french fries (my grandma always makes them soooo good, I feel the gluttony they talk about in the bible when she makes them), kebapcheta, kyufteta, some type of chop (porkchop, chicken porkchop, etc), lamb with rice and green onion, banitsa, shopska salad. And also my favourite, which I AALWAYS make my uncle toss on the grill(but not seen on the photo due to me eating my portion already) - onion. I LOOOOVE GRILLED ONIONS SO MUCH - any grilled veggies tbh, but onions especially. And you know all of the food is going to be tasty because it is all homemade and all of the veg is from the garden (unfortunately the meat isn't from self-raised animals, but we haven't had animals since grandpa passed - he was the one who mostly took care of them and also it would just be too much work for my grandma alone D: )

Unfortunately we (boyfriend and I) had to cut our visit a bit shorter, since we had a Pathfinder session... well, guess fucking what! One of the people dipped midway the sessiona and then came back 3 hours later with no explanation. Most of us had left the voice chat about an hour/hour and a half after her dissapearence and then when she did come back and the DM asked us if we want to continue it was already 12am and all of us were either not in the mood or tired. Especially me!!! (and my boyfriend actually) I'm pissed! We cut our time with my family for NOTHING! The session was at most an hour long and since the party had split into two this hour was spent in the library with the girl who dipped's character and Grey's character. And while Demeter did do stuff, aka drag out info from a librarian (though for waaay too long), GREY DID NOTHING! NADA! Just. UGH. So disappointing. At least I got some cross-stitching done and played some Hello Kitty island adventure (there was a biig pc update recently and I had a bunch of new quests to go through).

Do not be fooled from all the progress from last time - that was not all done in a day, no way. The chickens I finished the day of the first update, then I did the border around them, then the big square border, then the past 2 days I hav e been finishin the sunflowers and today I only did the outer most square outline (the lightest one) and the leaves on the top. It's getting there - I would say I have had a lot of progress for a week! I have seen people take literal yeeaaars to finish cross stitch projects, and while they are muuch bigger than mine, I still think my pace is pretty good. Anyways, I need to get to bed since my mom and I have plans for tommorow - we need to get the sewing machine out and fix the strap of the messenger bag I mentioned last post - the one I got the keychain for, since it started just kinda ripping. We also plan on taking the bikes out from the basement, and try fixing them up a bit - hopefully it's just going to be tires that need to be filled up, buut who knows - we haven't touched these things in a while.

I also started my tamagotchi uni back up again the day before I traveled home - didn't really feel like updating the tama log, I want to get out of the little funk I was in about running it before commiting to logging everything first. But I diiid finally get my long awaited girl and raised my beloved Pochacco Mimitchi - words can not explain how adorable and darling and lovely I find each and every Mimitchi design, she is just sooo SO SO cute, I can't! And she has the friendly personality - even though it is technically classified to the Spoiled personality group, it gives me more Docile/Shy vibes, no? I don't know, I don't care - she is veeery cute to me T~T

Random core memory as an end to the entry - my first actual bike (so like, one that came without training wheels, since my first bike was with training wheels and we just took them off) was a gift from my grandparents - they gave me the money and then that same day me and my mom went to a nearby bike shop and got it - it was a small thing still, I was a small child, and it was the opposite of what you would expect a little girl to get (though I was never girly haha, in elementary I hung out primarily with boys - funny how the situation is the same many years later). It was bright red and white with dark blue accents. I loved that thing. Rode it so much in the park, cried when it's tyres got messed up and we had to go change them. Here it is actually, I managed to find a pic of it online! Literally the only one. It took me 20 minutes to find it, I started losing hope BUT THEN SOMEHOW with the right keywords, there it was.

Hii! I have come to once again complain about things that have happened in the first few days! But first, I will talk about the good that happened haha.

On Saturday me and my boyfriend went out a bit - I had a package to pick up (finally ordered an antistatic brush for my vinyls) and we also had a voucher we had to use - in the end we didn't because we hadn't noticed it only applied for purchases over 120 bucks - and we do not have that kind of money! We went around the town center, checked out the art bazaar - I got a cute little keychain for a messenger bag I have and a cute little purple necklace (purple is my favourite color despite what you might assume based off of the site aesthetic haha). Sadly I don't have pics for either and I don't really feel like taking any so... sorry about that T~T

We then went and got tickets for the theatre, since we wanted to do something for our anniversary and have been wanting to go to the theatre for ages.

We then checked out a shop he has been wanting to go to for ages - Plesio. It's like mostly tech stuff and then some stationary - he nerded over all of the computer parts they had for sale. I got a tape dispenser - the ones that are like those correction tape dispensers, where you just roll it on the paper and it goes on. I also got a little pouch to just throw in my bag for necessities - pads, wipes, bandaids, etc. And yes, I am the type of person to be like a walking first aid kit. Afterwards we went home and then had some friends over to play Pathfinder and board games.

In the end of the day (which was around 2am the next day) my social battery was absolutely dead and I was super cranky. The fact our friends had to stay over for the night (since it was super late, we were tired, it was raining and my boyfriend did not feel like driving them to their dorms) didn't help haha... In any other day I would not have minded it but that day I was just sooo drained. The fact that I had to make the bed since we had just washed the sheets did not help. Sunday was spent lazing around and watching our shows haha.

Today was fine - the prof. for my ancient philosophy seminar showed up at 11:30am, instead of her usual 12pm which was crazy (the seminar is meant to start at 11am by schedule). Then we had anthropology which was super fun - we talked about Sartr. Honestly? I do align with his philosophy quite a bit.

But uhhh... yeah that was about it for the good - besides the fact that me and my boyfriend are going home again this Thursday, since we get another week off.

Fair warning the rest of this blog post will be slightly depressing, upsetting and maybe triggering - it will touch on topics such as abusive families (the first part) and then eating disorders (the second part, which will be under a warning button).

I think I talked about this in a blog post a long time ago (which was nuked when I fucked up and deleted my entire blog page that one time when Neocities was down for a day or so), but hooooly - people from the capital are so tone deaf. I have always had this problem with my friends from here, but it has been made even worse since moving for uni. They do not realize how good they have it to not have to worry about uprooting yourself and having to move your whole life to a new city halfway across the country just to get your fucking education. They do not understand how awful it is to miss your family every single day even though the last year while living with them you could not wait to have time away from them. They do not understand what it is to still have the luxury of living with your family and not having to worry about the fact that at the end of the month you will probably only be able to afford to eat a piece of stale bread and a single boiled egg for dinner, because you don't have money to buy anything else.

Today a colleague of mine sent me a tiktok with the caption "Living in your parents' house is free but you pay with your soul" - mind you, she is from the capital, she lives with her family. Many times I have shared with her the fact I would much rather be home than in this damn city. So I respond to the tiktok with "Girl... Not living with your parents sounds very cool and fun until you can only have a piece of stale bread and a boiled egg for dinner at the end of the month". And she says she would prefer that to something happening every day. Then tells me I was being mean.

In my opinion I was not being mean - I was telling her the truth as it is. Then I told her "Well, I prefer being home and I have said it many times, so I don't understand why you even sent me the video. I don't think you understand how priviledged you are to be able to seek higher education in your hometown and to still live with your family and not worry about the fact you are spending your money on things you don't need.". Now, sure, maybe this WAS a bit mean, but again - it is still the truth. I am talking about a girl who buys a new expensive game on steam every other week. The last game I got was Sticky Business after my case work presentation with the excuse "Oh, as a treat for doing well". And I only got it because I found it for under an euro on cdkeys. I am in no way saying I am dirt poor, but I am saying that I know what it is like to be poor and have a completely empty fridge, even if it is for a week or so at the end of the month, while she does not. And yes, I get not having a great family situation - hell, my father is verbally, mentally and sometimes physically abusive to both my mother and I. Have you guys ever had a plate thrown at you for wanting to get up from the dinner table because you're full, and then made to clean up the mess? I have! I have also been screamed at for not wanting to get a wisdom tooth removed (right before I turned 19 btw, so I had full and complete right to decide for myself). I have also been screamed for a boy splitting my eyebrow open - because of course, the fact he tripped me is my fault. And guess what? I would still rather be at home than be in the capital city for more than 3 weeks at once. But do I get a choice? No! And does she realise the fact she is priviledged enough to have a choice? Also no!

I don't know - people from the capital tend to piss me off with how entitled they are. I might have mentioned this but most of them have the mindset that the rest of the country is "the province" and that everyone else is villagers. And that "villagers" need to stop coming to the capital for higher education and work.

Now that I got that out of my system, I want to talk about something that has been going on with me for a while now, and is partly the reason I have not been posting a lot and the reason I have been saying things like "life has been rough" and "I have just been exhausted". Do not take the warnings below lightly please, it is a really, REALLY heavy topic.

Proceed with caution.

TRIGGERING PORTION OVER

Whoo... that... out of the way... I don't know if I feel better, but... sharing with people helps I guess... Sorry if I have triggered anyone, or made anyone feel bad, I just... I can't share with anyone close to me about this, but I needed to get it out somewhere because it is so fucking exhausting and tiring, and I don't want to be this way. I don't want to be constantly thinking about food and calories and being mean about it. But, I don't know how to help it. I try thinking about recovery but then I just decide it's not worth it.

Also, no, I am not looking for relationship advice - as I said, I genuienly think he Does Not Understand, because when he looks at me he does not think or see any of the things I think/see about myself, he just sees the person he loves, and uh... yeah. I don't know, I will probably try talking to him about it again soon, but I just needed to get it out as well.

Man did I have a day yesteday... First day after Easter break, so that is one thing. I did not want to get up and very much contemplated skipping half of my lectures for the day, but alas, since nobody would have given me the notes from the missed lectures I had to force myself to get up. Both of the colleagues who I am friendly with are neither punctual nor consistant with their attendance... I had Anthropology, which in theory sounds interesting but the prof. sucks. He always goes on unrelated tangents and never fails to mention how much books he has written or how many wordpress websites he has made. Afterwards I had my introduction to philosophy course, which let's be honest here, is a false title, considering I have not learned anything, nor have I been introduced to anything (other than the fact I have free will and can do whatever the fuck I want during the lectures - read, play video games on my laptop, cross stitch, etc.) To top it off we are in one of those big lecture halls and the seats are so fucking uncomfortable I always end up with burning back pain at the end of the day.

Afterwards I had a three hour Psychology lecture. Which would be fine, I like psychology. EXCEPT - it is three hours in the same lecture hall (therefore more back pain) and the professor just yaps on and on and on, no stops or anything, and with such a fast pace that most of my notes are riddled with errors. And in the end most of the things she says in the lecture aren't even related to the weekly test we have (and usually neither are the materials she sends us). Below I have attached a screenshot of how long my notes are usually after a psych lecture... it's a lot.

One of the colleagues I am friends with pestered me with "You'll send me your Psychology notes,right?". I told her "Sure" the first time, but then noticed that she literally didn't bother taking ANY notes of her own. She just kept looking at her pinterest, or instagram, or whatever else. Safe to say I won't be sending her the notes! I don't particularly care if it's mean - I didn't write my notes for you to take advantage of! I didn't give myself burning immense back pain (that is still here today by the way! Has not gotten better) with a migraine and nausea AND STILL take in depth notes for you to literally not do anything for three hours and then ride on my back.

My day usually ends at like 6pm on Wednesdays. This time (like most others actually, I notice I feel like this more often than not) I felt like I would either completely collapse or throw up or both while going home. I walked to my tram stop and thought "Yeah okay, I just need to get home and I can rest for a little bit." WROONG. Like 2 stops later some fuckass kids got on - a girl and a boy, the boy slightly older. Now here it starts - the girl keeps shoving herself near me, hitting me with her elbow in the head, messing with my umbrella (which was in my jacket pocket and not in anyone's way). I ignored her and kept looking out the window and listening to my music, anticipating when they or I would get off. At some point the girl had the absolute audacity to start pulling my hair. So of course, like any normal person would do I turned around. Before I could say anything she practically started yelling at me for looking at her brother (? maybe??? i dont know) sideways. So I tell her I am not looking at either of them and that I am simply just looking out of the window. She then goes on to yell at me for speaking to her "like that" and with a tone. And asked me if I spoke to my mother like that?? Mind you I was calm and didn't say ANYTHING rude. I just defended myself. The boy had the audacity to say "She has a TELK" (a TELK is basically an official report or expertise that a person has some sort of disability and therefore get a sum of money from the government - basically disability aid). Which made it click what type of people these kids were. In my country a lot of unemployed people decide that instead of doing something about their unemployment they can take advantage of the system and claim disability aid (usually for their kids, but it isn't munchausen by proxy) and then get free money.

And yes, I know invisible disabilities exist, hell I literally have one, but more often than not when someone keeps telling you "I have disability aid" over and over when they did something wrong for no reason and don't apologise, I am sorry but I think I am in my right to assume they are this type of people who fake it for money. And even if she was disabled that did not give her an excuse to hit me and pull my hair, nor for the boy with her to not do anything about it.

She continued to yell at me about talking to her with a tone and I decided to pick my battles and just... got off at the first possible stop. I did not have the energy to deal with that bullshit. And to top it off nobody around us said ANYTHING. In the end I had to walk 3 stops' distance, still trying to not faint or throw up. So that was just wonderful. So much for just going home and resting.

That long rant over, yesterday wasn't all that bad. During my Introduction to philosophy lecture I started cross stitching something - the Stardew Valley sampler by NeedlesandNightshade on etsy. I admit I will tweak some details - I have decided to mirror the common mushroom, since the fact that the chanterelle is a bit uncentered was bugging me. I have also moved the heart and extended the chick by one pixels so they can be properly centered. I also added some hearts on the trim (due to my boyfriend messing with my pattern and drawing a little heart on it. I thought it was cute so I decided to incorporate it). Buuut you will see these changes as I go. So far I have only done the chickens haha.

Today wasn't that great either honestly - I almost overslept for my 9am psych seminar, which I honestly regret going to - it was a waste of time. We didn't do anything except this stupid group exercise where we write the name of someone at the top of a page and then everyone writes one thing about them, the first thing that comes to mind. Mine mostly consisted of "short", "short", "short", "wavy hair,braces, Sisi's friend", "short", "short". Which makes me so fucking angry. How dare they narrow me down to another person?! What the fuck!

The two colleagues I am friendly with were super unpunctual as always - one only showed up for the 9am seminar and the other for the Logic seminar... I am not sending anyone notes even if they ask for them, I swear. I'm actually SO tired of being practically used like this. If I can work my ass off writing the entire 2 or 3 or however many hours, so can you - it isn't that hard!

I really don't get it. One time I attended a seminar that was online while literally travelling back to my flat (because I learnt it would be online only after going to the building, expecting it to be in person), taking in depth notes, while neither of them even bothered to tune in, even though both of them were at home! And knew it would be online! And did not even bother to tell me when I asked if I would be the only one going to the faculty for the seminar!!!

On a good note, my mom came over today. We went to the mall which was super fun. I got my boyfriend a gift for our anniversary which is coming up in the beginning of May :D he will have to wait 2 weeks for me to give it to him and I will have to somehow hide it from him for two weeks.

We had dinner at this nice japanese restaurant - I had a katsu chicken rice bowl. It was yummy, the rice was a bit too much though (yes, I know it's a rice BOWL, but the taste of it wasn't that great - I have had better rice from another place, but that is besides the point). I got a little cute pair of scissors shaped like a crane and also a pack of needle threaders to make my life easier when cross stitching.

I am honestly just exhausted. I am probably going to play some hello kitty island adventure, cross stitch a little bit and then head to bed. Sorry for the long ass post... These past 2 days have just been rough.

Hello, hello, hello! I have been gone for a minute but honestly I've just... I dunno. been busy I guess? It was my boyfriend's birthday, and then my mom came over over the weekend, then I had to present my case study in uni and then I travelled back home for Easter and I just haven't had the time to write.

But I am backk! (At least for now) I guess I will share some photos from what happened.

Here is the cake we had at bf's birthday - the patisserie didn't have his order, it didn't go through or something, but we did end up leaving with a cake. We had ordered the same cake that we got, except smaller. We ended up with 10 pieces instead of 8, since the cake they had in the back was 10 pieces. They didn't make us pay extra (imagine the audacity if they had...) so we ended up with two free pieces.

On Saturday me and my boyfriend went out to a nature museum where they had this cool crystal and mineral exhibition. And there were also butterflies! (Warning for the next photos if you don't like butterflies?)

Last week I had my case study presentation - it went fine, I suppose. Hoping it managed to get me out of doing the exam at the end of the semester... I would be very glad to have at least something off of my back. Then the same day one of my colleagues had a birthday party. It was alright, I guess, I didn't enjoy myself too much (Sisi, sorry if you're reading this...) . 99% of the guests were friends of hers or of her boyfriend's so I basically knew nobody else there except them two (and also my boyfriend who was also invited). I just stood awkwardly in the corner for most of the time. I guess it was fun when we ended up playing some board games (Exploding kittens and Dixit), but to be honest it was still extremely awkward. My outfit was really cute I guess and I would miss out if I didn't share it, so here - Another face reveal of sorts be upon you.

Well... hi! I have once again been gone.... life has just been rough, I've been getting back to some really unhealthy habits (which I won't go in detail for). I haven't had the energy to do anything but go to uni (mechanically atp), bedrot and doomscroll.

Last week was nice though. I got some pretty cool pics from uni (which are up in my gallery page). We goofed off during one of our lectures since the prof wasn't there. Meow.

On Tuesday I had to do a side quest to my boyfriend's faculty to deliver his charger to him, since he forgot it over at my place. It was a nice change of pace honestly. A bit of a break in my dull routine. Saturday was the most fun though. We went to a cute little cafe who had these really nice looking eclaires... the eclaire was okay. A bit dry to be honest? But it was still nice. Also - my eyeliner was super cute haha

Afterwards we went to the National Art Gallery. I didn't take many pics of the paintings but I really liked this one.

It's by Olga Wisinger-Florian and it's called "Swallows Among Blossoming Apple Branches". It's oil on wood which is cool. I really like oil paintings - the way the oil paint has this unique raised texture and the fact that you can see the brush stroke is all just... I don't know, I just really like it.

After the gallery we went and had lunch at Happy and then just went around some of the main streets, wandering. I finally caved and got a cross-stitch kit - I had been wondering if I should try it out, since one of my friends from uni and I talked about our hobbies and she said it's really nice, and also my mom used to cross stitch tapestries when I was younger... When I spotted a cute little Pusheen cross stitch kit it was over for me. So far I have finished one of the three patterns and I do plan on taking the one I am currently working on to lectures today to have something to do when it gets boring (and one of the lectures I have today is reeeally boring)

(I got the pic of the kit from google, I don't feel like getting up to go get the box and take a pic of it haha... also excuse the dull colors, I am writing this at 2am so the lighting is bad). (and yes this does mean I now have to make a cross-stitch section in my creations page....oops)

On Monday my boyfriend and I went to the mall to pick up a cake for his birthday party (which will be on Saturday) which was nice. Aaaand that is because it is his birthday today (the 2nd of April) :D which means I can get him presents without him being able to say no >:3 (he always tells me to not spend money on him but now he can't refuse mwahaha. he shall be gifted and loved and he can't say nothing about it.)

Oh also while at the mall I got us this really yummy (but messy) pişmaniye and pomegranate dubai style chocolate. I didn't get pics of it intact though oops haha...

What else has happened... ummm... My boyfriend and I started going to the gym, which has been nice. Building muscle to open the heavy ass door of my uni's main building :P BUUUT the best part about it has been the gym cats. There are 2 cuties that come and go from time to time. They have a bed and bowls for food and water. And they just... they chill. There is this tabby and white one and also a brown tabby who I haven't taken a pic of yet

Oh oh! I don't think I have mentioned it but every Saturday some of my friends come over and we play Pathfinder and then my boyfriend and I usually end up driving them back to their dorms. This time we decided to take a different route to stop by this whack ass monument of architecture that is in town.

Just look at it!!!

If you made it this far here is a little treat - some pretty flowers I see daily on my way to the tram and back.

Hii! Wow, I haven't made a blog post in a few weeks and I also haven't been uploading my tamalog much recently either.

I apologize for that, but honestly truth is that even existing has been too tiring and I just haven't had any spare energy to hop on here and yap about my day/week/whatever.

A little TLDR of the past few weeks is uhhh...

Well, Not much interesting actually happend at the end of February. I guess me and my boyfriend went home on the 28th, which was really nice. I finally got to test out my vinyl player which was super fucking cool. Unfortunately I did not take a pic of it haha, but it is the Audio Technica at-lp60xbt with some Edifier r1700bt speakers. I also got a haircut, and while I do not feel comfy sharing a pic of myself, you can see that I changed the little avatar on my About page.

Being home for the weekend went by really quick, mostly because like... the two days I spent out and about with my mom, making up for lost quality time for the 2 months I had not been home and the nights were spent visiting family haha. One night with mine, one night with my boyfriend's.

And then I was back at uni again on tuesday... same shit everyday tbh, I don't know what to tell you haha. I mean, I guess I did get to meet the prof I have for my psychology lectures. She is cool, reminds me a lot of my old philosophy teacher. She told us to draw like... the best person in our eyes. So I drew my boyfriend haha... Mostly because he is genuienly the most like... intelligent (both in the regular sense and emotionally) person and.. yeah, i dunno, sometimes I wish I was more like him.

Pleeeassse don't judge my drawing skills haha, I hadn't drawn him before this and it is also like, not my usual style T~T

On Friday I went out with some friends who I hadn't seen in AAAAGES and we went to an art bazaar, which was super cool. I got a bag made out of a retro vinyl. We also went to a really nice cafe and I had a matcha latte. And then in the evening my boyfriend and I ended up hanging out with ANOTHER friend we hadn't seen in ages and I took a very cool pic of a cool cathedral in my city (oops hahaaa, you now know where I liveee hahaaaa... for uni at least).

On the 8th my boyfriend took me on a date to the zoo, which was suuuper cool. I will probably post the pictures in the gallery or like after all of the text for the post, since there are... a lot.

....actually.... I will Go Against something I said earlier and I will post a fit picture because it was super cute and Also shows off the vinyl bag.... This will probably the only time I post a pic of myself here though haha, I would prefer staying anonymous and mysterious.

After the zoo we went to one of the many malls and he got me a Pompompurin plush from Miniso. He is So Silly. (This statement can apply to both Purin and my bf, so take that as you will).

Anyways uhhhh Yeah. Nothing much happened on Sunday/Monday/Today. I mean, we went out with some of my colleagues on Sunday but that was like... lowkey boring haha.... I don't really get along with one of the people that was there much and uhhh yeah.

Here are the pics from the zoo hihi

I will also probably post these in my Gallery with (hopefully) better formatting soon!

Sooo... a bunch has happened this past week I suppose. My lectures started back up again, but honestly we didn't really do much studying this first week - mostly getting back into the swing of things. I had to miss like 4 of my lectures - professors were either out of town for conferences, sick or had sick children. We also got our themes for our Eastern philosophy course work, whicch... man am I NOT excited to work on that.

I hung out with a friend on Thursday, since it was their bday. It was nice - I hadn't seen them in a hot minute, so it was good to catch up. We chatted and fed the pigeons in the subway. (Hi Kaeee if you see this :3) Then we (my boyfriend and I) had some friends over for board games on Friday evening and then again on Saturday - it was very fun, especially since I hadn't seen them in a minute as well (exams and all)!

Saturday afternoon my boyfriend and I went to an art bazaar at a local community center - the place is really cozy with great vibes and I discovered some really cool artists (as well as seeing some artists I already knew)

Honkai and Dungeon meshi stuff is from eldoinart on insta, the clay keychains (along with the two stickers next to them) are from hangedfinch and the rest of the keychains are from spherical.artist.42.

You might be wondering why I have not shared who the cat stickers are from and why the name of the person who made the poems zine is scribbled out... well it is because 1. I don't want people supporting them and 2. I don't want people sending hate their way. That is because they stole a part of a poem I wrote.

Basically I considered this person one of my closest friends for aages. We used to share our poetry with eachother ALL the time. And well, while I haven't shared much poetry here (I will get around to it, but I do need to sort the page for it first) there is a character that appears very frequently in it - Wolf. Wolf is basically a metaphor or a foil of myself and how I feel. Once upon a time, aages ago I wrote a poem, which while I can not share (since I only have it written down in a journal back in my hometown) I can quote - "I used to be hunted, I used to be prey" it said. And well, this person who I considered a friend, which I will call S wrote a poetry featuring one of their frequent characters, a tree (I forgot what type of tree, but that does not matter) and my Wolf. A part of the poem goes "As I hear you say / We don't have to be hunted / We don't have to be pray". And at the time I was really like flattered that a close friend of mine would be nice enough to feature Wolf in a poem of theirs, as to me poetry is an outlet for my soul and the words I can't just freely express to someone.

S then went on to write another poem featuring Wolf. This was, again ages ago - think 2 or 3 years. I was again, flattered.

Now, years pass. Let's say - October/November last year until now. S and I have not talked as much, which is alright because life is busy, they also have uni to worry about, but despite all I do still consider them a close friend. You see, we had been online friends for the longest time but now since I had to move for uni we were in the same town. I was pretty happy about this, thinking I could see them more frequently. Well. That didn't happen, I only saw them once - at an art bazaar I went to in October. I was really happy to see them nontheless, and also did not think anything of it - life is busy, and it is not like I had seen some of my other closest friends more frequently either.

Honestly, something should have sparked in me when they didn't wish me a happy birthday, but honestly I was a bit overoccupied with work to notice who had and who had not said anything on my "special day".

Anyways. Last Saturday comes around. I had been super hype to go to this art bazaar since I had missed the winter one, due to being back in my hometown. I was excited to get some cool art, to see my friend and to see some artists who would not be making their return next time and to meet new ones who had joined the roster of artists engaged in the community center. Well, all was well - I got some cool stickers, I got some cool keychains, I got a cool print of Laika (Who never fails to make me feel bittersweet) and I got a poem zine my friend had printed out (which I did not know they had done this). Then I come home. I read the zine and see that they had published the two poems featuring Wolf.

And they had the nerve to reply that that was a different character. That the poems had a different meaning. When one of them literally has direct lines from a poem I WROTE! (I do plan on confronting them for this when I get my hands on my original poem. I will ask them to remove both poems featuring the Wolf, even if they do claim that it is a different character - the similarities are too many, especially considering the stolen lines. If they wish to keep those poems they must change the similarities and remove the lines at once.)

And well... When they said the poems have different meanings it just. I don't know. Something broke, or snapped, or a light bulb went off (more like exploded) in my head, and I realised that this person no longer gives a shit about me and had not done so in a long while.

And yeah, idk. I am working towards getting rid of stuff I got from them. The zine will be burned, or thrown away, or I might scratch out their user and leave it on a table somewhere in uni. (probably not the latter - they stole lines from a poem of mine, I do not want that getting spread around). I have given away one of the stickers and am wondering what to do with the other 2. I think I am probably going to keep the lucky cat one - it does not remind me of their art style at all, and well, I love calicos. But... the black kitty with the flames on the tail might have to go. It resembles their artstyle too much and while it does remind me of my dog (weird comparison, I know, But I have a fluffy black german spitz who acts like a cat, because he is a weirdo), it just... I don't know. I might shove the stickers in the back of a drawer for a while until I forget about this person. The Laika poster I will keep. I don't know how but it doesn't really remind me of S at all. And as I said, I love Laika.

But yeah. The poems zine will be getting destroyed in some fashion. I just can't bear to have it in my possesion and the idea of even one more of these things exsisting in the world, with lines stolen from a poem that was close and dear to me makes me angry.

I apologize for the rambly post and the lack of pics or anything, I am just... angry. Thanks for reading until the end, if anyone did. As a treat - here is a link to a poem I wrote in retaliation to everything S did. The page where I plan to post poems is not done in the slightest, but I want to share this.

Hii! I should have made this post yesterday but I had guests so I was too busy tidying up the house haha...

But uhhh... me and my boyfriend went on a cute little Valentine's day on Friday! He had a math exam the same day (which he passed with excellent results and maximum points) so we had even more reasons to celebrate! We went to the mall and just browsed the shops.

I got myself a cute little My Melody keychain (for which I do not have a pic of, sadge, but I'm honestly too lazy to snap one. Perhaps one day I will edit this blog post with a pic of her...) cause it was on clearance for some reason? There was literally nothing wrong with her and she is now hanging off of my laptop bag. We walked around a few more shops, mostly bookstores and such haha, looking for books we want to read and me for vinyls I might want to eventually add to my collection

Then me and my boyfriend went and got each other Lego sets - he got me the Orchid one (which is now proudly sitting on my kitchen table and reminding me of home, since I have a huuuge plant collection in my bedroom) (I'm surprised how accurate it is! From the way the stems are to the soil and the roots! Very neat). And I got him a 3in1 Creator set which he has been wanting (Because it is super cool. There is like a winged dragon, a water one and a sick phoenix which will sit next to my Poppy War trilogy,because he is also a fan of the books and also he doesn't want to take the set to his dorm in fear of something happening to it). So far we have built the water dragon and he built the winged dragon, but I don't have a pic of the latter (because he finished it while I was napping and I haven't had the chance to properly take a pic of it).

Then we ordered some food from an Italian restaurant in the mall (not actually authentic italian food, but it was still pretty good!) and while waiting we went to a cafe and got cake and a drink! He had a black velvet cake (so like, chocolate) and I got an eclaire raspberry one (raspberries are my most favourite fruit ever) and the drink is like a matcha ice latte with lychee (it was very yum, but I miiight be biased because I like pretty much anything matcha and/or lychee)

While waiting for the cakes I got a message that our food was ready so I went and grabbed it and then after we finished our cake we just went home to eat the food and build lego haha. As I said - the food was very good! We had some fancy chicken and a fried cauliflower salad with cashew and pomegranate seeds. We also ordered a four meats pizza which I was veery pleasantly surprised about. And turns out we got a free pizza! Which was a really nice surprise which made the day even better! And no - it wasn't on the tab, nor was the order messed up - it had our order number on the box!

We haven't tried it out yet, but we will when our friends come over today! I will update you on how it was later :D

On a more negative note - I am so so tired. My boyfriend's dad had to stay the night and catch a flight at 4 am.... so he stayed over and then we didn't sleep so we could drive him to the airport. Now, I don't have anything against his dad, do not take it this way... But I am tired! We spent all day yesterday cleaning! And today we have our friends coming over at 2 pm. to play board games and then his brother will also be sleeping over because he had some urgent business come up Monday morning for which he needs to be well rested for. And like.... I start lectures back up tommorow! I have 70 pages to read for Monday and Tuesday only! I haven't slept more than an Hour! I'm stressed out. Might crash out later, who knows. Like... I feel like a bomb on a very very short fuse rn. I hope that I sleep well tonight at least.

Sorry for ending on a negative note haha.... It's not as bad as it probably seems, I am just sleep deprived and sressed.

Well, I gotta go and start chipping away at the 70 pages of academic texts I have. Eastern philosophy might be the death of me (mostly because of the professor we have for our seminars...).

Bye bye! Hopefully I will be able to post about how today went soon!

Hello! I've been gone for a minute, again! Thankfully my exam session has unofficially ended (it is technically until the 15th, but I don't have any exams left). I passed all of my exams! With okay-ish grades (C,B,A). Ironically the one I was the most worried about I got the best grade in, but I think the proffesor just didn't want to deal with failing anyone. I only have one course work left to write and well... it's not going that great. I have until the 15th to send it and just... ugh. It's such an annoying and vague theme and it's for a course I really really don't like because somehow both the prof. at the lectures and the one for the seminars SUCK. I despise their way of teaching. One of them just mumbles under his nose (mind you, his lectures are in a big lecture hall) and says the same things over and over (and to top off everything is word for word from the book he made us buy at the beginning of the year) while the seminars are just.... how do I explain. You go in with questions that never get answered and just get thrown back at you like 15 times.

On a more positive note! A few days ago my tama evolved into Pochitchi, who is a little yellow dog (I think you can notice a pattern in my favourites haha).

Here are some pics :P :

do excuse the state of my nails, exams stressed me out so I ended up going back to the habit of picking at my nail polish and nails...

As you might have seen from my microblog I ordered a Tamagotchi Uni from someone on the tamagotchi collectors discord. I'm still waiting for that to arrive (unpaintently might I add). I'm mostly nervous about the shipping, because I've never ordered like this directly from another person and well, I don't particularly trust my country's postal services (since they are notorious for their delivery speed.) I'm sure all is fine though, I assume it's customs that is slowing the whole process down. I'll make sure to post about it when it eventually arrives.

On another Tamagotchi related note I'm wondering if I should make a tama log (the idea is inspired by underkat and lorrin's island ) but I fear I won't have anything interesting to post, especially since right now I just want to see how long Pochitchi will live. I have to admit I have been neglecting him a bit this past week, because of exams and because my mom visited me for a few days... So I might or might not have let his hunger and happiness meters empty out a few times...

But hey, I haven't killed him yet, so! I can't be doing that bad.

I also got 3 more blind boxes (one was on a whim, the other 2 were as a treat for passing my exam. The magnet clip was bought last year.)...and well. I think the universe is telling me something. Just look for yourselves.

Like, I'm sorry but this is getting ridicilous! How is the only time I've gotten someone other than My Mel the one time I bought a box that didn't even have her as an option.

I'll go work on my course work now. I'll probably have 2 more blog posts this week since I do have some cool stuff planned (me and my boyfriend will be having a cute little date on valentine's. Nothing fancy, but that's not the point. We will be getting takeout and building legos haha. And then on Sunday some friends are coming over to play board games, which is something we have been looking forward to for an entire month.)

I have been gone for a hot minute, hello!

That is entirely because I am cramming for my exams, since my exam session started a few days ago. My first out of two exams is on the 31st and then the next one is on the 9th of February... I have sooo much to study for both of them and meanwhile have to write two seven page course works (which means pulling two themes straight out of my ass because my professors can't teach for shit).

So.... yeah. Not doing so great at the moment. On a more positive note I have a few fun things to share! Nostalgia hit me like a brick so I ended up buying a Tamagotchi!

I think the shell I chose is really pretty. Tbh I was debating between this one and one from the angel series, but in the end I decided on this one. And honestly - I am glad. I think I wouldn't have enjoyed the mechanics of the angel one much (judging by the fact that a friend of mine got the one I was debating getting and her struggled with it). But who knows, I might get one of those in the future. I am debating on investing in a Tamagotchi Uni too, they look really fun. Buuut I have another big purchase planned already so, I gotta save my money (my boyfriend and I want to get the Slay the Spire boardgame since we both love the videogame)

So yeahh, enjoy more tamagotchi posting from me in the near future (if I survive exams) (And if the tamagochi survives my boyfriend borrowing it for his presentation on monitors next week (he is gonna use it as an example of an LCD display) (And yes I will be mad at him if he kills it because by that point I would have kept it alive for a week).

Another thing I bought on a whim is a Cinnamoroll blindbox! I saw them in Miniso and well, since the entire collection available is ONLY Cinnamoroll (aka one of my favourite sanrio characters) I decided to bite the bullet and get one (since the reason I usually avoid getting blindboxes is the chance to get a character I wouldn't have wanted and then like... not really enjoy displaying it as much)

Honestly even though I wass aiming for one of the secret options (not shown on picture as to not spoil for anyone haha), as is the goal of any blindbox honestly, I would have been happy with all of them, they are all so cute! (Although maybe I would have been a bit dissapointed with the one that is just his head on a plate)

In the end I got the "Steal a bite" one and it is now proudly displayed in the living room.

Sooo yeah. Not much interesting has happened (considering that me going to the mall to get my tamagotchi and buy the blindbox on a whim was the first time I have went out of my flat for 2 weeks)...

I guess I will see you in another week? Or perhaps I will have the time and reasons to update either this blog or my microblog more, who knows. Bye bye for now!

Today was actually pretty great! I'm back in my flat after 2 weeks of being home for the holidays. It was a 3 hour drive, but it was chill - it was me and my boyfriend in the car (him driving, of course) and the highway was actually not that busy.

Sooo... today we decided to go on a date. We ended up going to a cafe we've been meaning to go to for a while. It's a corgi cafe - which means there were doggies there! :D

Here r some photos of the pups - their names are Lori and Siri:

It was really nice watching them just walk around and play. While we were putting away our food (since the cafe is self serve) one of them bumped into my leg - hefty little thing. At some point one of the patrons started throwing them a ball and they kept sliding after it which was really cute and funny.

The food was very nice too! ("For a vegan place" - my boyfriend) I had a burger and he had some club toast sandwiches. Both were good in my opinion even though the burger kind of fell apart by the end (and the fact that the toast sandwiches had avocado. I don't like avocado)

We also had some coffee - he had a regular latte (with the cutest latte art!) and I had an oreo frappe. Honestly the drinks were nothing special, but we liked them nonetheless.

(No photo of my drink because it wasn't that interesting visually)

After that we went to the mall where we had some froyo. We went around the bookshops looking for Heavenly Tyrant (Iron Widow's sequel/Xiran Jay Zhao's newest book) but alas I think we will have to wait a while for it to reach our country. I got a CD of one of my favourite bands though - Trench by Twenty One Pilots. I've been collecting their albums recently... so far I have Vessel, Trench and Clancy and I am really hoping to find Scaled and icy and Blurryface soon. Unfortunately I don't think I will ever get my hands on a Regional at best CD aand I am not sure if Self titled even had CDs.

I also got a new mouse for my laptop. The logitech M240 - it is small and comfortable and also silent. It is basically my previous mouse but silent which is really nice.

We ended up going to Miniso where I got a Sanrio frige magnet/clip blind box... And I told myself I would never fall into the gambling pitfall of blind boxes (Though this is my first and most likely last one, lol :P) I was hoping to get Cinnamoroll, Pompompurin or Pochacco (he was the chase), but I got My Melody - I don't mind though! She is very cute!

After we came back home (read - my flat) we tested out the potato ricer we got a few weeks ago (we had been eyeing it for a while and debating whether we should get it and honestly it ended up being a very good, useful purchase) and had mashed potatoes for dinner :3

Unfortunately I now have to study for my sociology test that is on Monday... And I was hoping to fix my sleep schedule... (I am writing this at 2am on the 5th...)